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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26397031">The Reality That Is</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelymeraki/pseuds/lovelymeraki'>lovelymeraki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>7x13, 7x13 scene rewrite, Bellarke, F/M, Season 7 rewrite, Short One Shot, The 100 (TV) Season 7, a scene for those searching for a different version of reality to latch onto, clarke’s thought process on pulling the trigger, idk I needed to write this for me so I figured some others might need it too, one shot bellarke, rewrite of that unspeakable scene because I refuse to accept what happened, the 100 (TV) rewrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:34:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26397031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelymeraki/pseuds/lovelymeraki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A rewriting of that unspeakable moment in 7x13 because in the world of the 100 that makes sense and the Clarke Griffin/Bellarke we all know and love, it wouldn’t have happened.</p><p>I needed to write this for my mind to find a reality that made sense for me. I’m going to continue to pretend the scene in the show doesn’t exist &amp; if you need this like I needed it, feel free to read.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake &amp; Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake &amp; Clarke Griffin &amp; Madi, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellarke - Relationship, Clarke Griffin &amp; Bellamy Blake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Reality That Is</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry,” Bellamy said. And Clarke felt it. She wanted to disappear within the meaning of those words. She wanted it to be enough. “You need to keep this safe. For the Shepherd.”</p><p>So there she stood. </p><p>Somewhere so familiar, yet so distant, staring into the eyes of someone she was trying to recognize. Trying to grasp onto any fleeting glimpse of the man she once knew. The man she loved. </p><p>She had been here before. With him. Standing on two different sides of a tipping point. Two different sides of a gun. </p><p>Clarke knew the idea of pulling a trigger was easy. You apply some pressure and you set the bullet free, the mark meeting it’s path with whatever destruction you aim towards making. But the depth of what this bullet would mean, the destruction this decision would cause felt like too much. </p><p>The time she was losing was spreading through the space separating herself from Bellamy like blood. She could almost see the moment she would be forced to make a decision reaching its unforgiving claws towards her vulnerable state. </p><p>The book. The idiotic book that caused this entire moment was moving in slow motion, hovering in the air between Bellamy’s hand and the one reaching for it. </p><p>But Clarke kept her eyes on Bellamy. She knew she needed to protect Madi, and she tried to will herself to just pull the trigger. She had been backed into a corner, and she hated that in this moment, one that would hold so much weight on her future and the future of the ones she loved, she could see the Bellamy she knew. </p><p>Clarke could see every moment leading up to this. Every betrayal that made loving Bellamy Blake so goddamned hard sometimes. She could feel every memory of recognizing that love, and that feeling blossomed within the black hole burying itself within her bleeding heart. </p><p>It felt fresh. Every impossible decision they had faced together. Every laugh they had shared together. Every tear they had cried together. Every heartbreak they had endured alongside one another, walking along through everything together. Stopping to help pick up the broken pieces of the other, knowing they would never have to be alone. </p><p><i>Together.</i> </p><p>That one single word burned so brightly inside Clarke’s mind, and it tried to light a spark within her muddled thoughts that were closing in around her. She was collapsing inside of the choice she would have to make. The only choice. </p><p>
  <i>Only choice. Also an oxymoron by the way.</i>
</p><p><i>So is cold sweat.</i> </p><p>Her breath caught, remembering yet another sprinkle of memory along with burning edges between them. Another time when death was closing in around them, the weight of having to take on life without the other being too much. Almost unthinkable. </p><p>Bellamy had made it through that because he was strong. The gun gripped so tightly within Clarke’s hand shook as she thought about what this would mean. She knew she was strong, but she wasn’t unbreakable. </p><p>This would shatter her into too many pieces. And she would be left without a helping hand to pick up the rubble surrounding her destroyed self. </p><p>Because she knew, deep down, Bellamy was her heart. She knew she wouldn’t survive without him. The weight of that reality and the part she would play in that would crush the parts of herself she still had. </p><p>Tears were rushing down her face like an uncontrollable wave in a never ending storm, and she wondered if they would ever end. She realized if she pulled the trigger she would be consumed with them, wrapped so tightly around herself she would have nowhere to go to escape the drowning of her own grief.</p><p>That seeping blood of time finally reached her, and she felt it suffocate the air left in her weakening lungs. </p><p>She had to make a decision. Now. </p><p>So she did. </p><p>Clarke made the only decision she knew she could ever make. The only choice that was ever really there, anything else would’ve erased the line of the things she would never be able to do. </p><p>So she lowered the gun, knowing deep within her mind that she would have never been able to make it a kill shot, no matter what her mind screamed at her. </p><p>Clarke knew she would figure something else out. She always did. And the lifting weight of surrendering herself to the small defeat within this moment was worth it as she looked towards her best friend. </p><p>Bellamy looked broken, and he was staring at her as if maybe he didn’t recognize some parts of her either. </p><p>But he was alive. </p><p>And Clarke could breathe again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no words for what happened. None. I still can’t believe it &amp; I don’t want to believe it. Hope everyone’s doing okay!&lt;3 I’m not, but everything takes time.</p><p>This is short, and it’s a little messy because I didn’t edit it but it helps ease a sliver of the pain I feel right now. Thanks for reading &amp; I wish you all loads of happiness xx</p></blockquote></div></div>
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